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leeds united talk to sloth as cellino talks to bates

leeds united talk to sloth as cellino talks to bates


I don’t know about anybody else, but I’d rather talk to the Sloth.

We can’t always have what we want, though, and Massimo Cellino has implied that his meetings with Ken Bates have been a necessary evil.

Discussions with Danish midfielder Casper Sloth, however, sound like pure, pure pleasure.

First United will speak to the 22-year old’s agent, after agreeing to pay around £600k to Aarhus; French side Evian are also keen to speak to him.

Let’s deal with this right now: his name is Casper Sloth. Above all else, Leeds United should buy this player for his name alone. Yes, the jokes will soon get boring; perhaps they already have. But even when the joking stops, Casper will still be called Sloth, and the Sloth must come to Leeds.

This video demonstrates the impact a sloth can have on a person’s life; imagine the impact The Sloth could have on Leeds United Football Club:

While everybody wants to talk to the Sloth, I can’t imagine who would actively want to converse with Ken Bates on any topic, which makes the announcement on Ken’s video-blog of several meetings between the two even more bizarre.

Fortunately, Massimo Cellino is on hand to provide a rational explanation.

“It’s true, we’ve had meetings,” he told Simon Austin. "I have to protect Leeds from the case involving Bates and GFH.

“He is suing GFH and the Leeds owner, which is now me. I am trying to have a friendly transaction to save the club a lot of money. We are spending too much time, money and energy on legal cases.”

Cellino goes on to comment on United’s recent performances, in terms that won’t exactly reassure his head coach:

“I would like to blame Hockaday,” he said. “That would be the easy thing to do and might make me feel better – but the truth is he just doesn’t have the players at the moment.”

That is the truth, Massimo. Give the Hock what he needs. Give us all what we want. Give us the Sloth.